Day 26; Tired

It's been nearly 4 weeks since my op and I'm told that my scars are looking a lot better i.e. not Frankenstein scary anymore. I have one patch which seems to be struggling to heal and looks to be weeping occasionally but the Doctor says it's ok. I am also left with a couple of `deep stitches' which apparently will dissolve but in the meantime are sore and feel really bizarre when I touch them.

My face is still swollen (not at the top but my entire cheek) although not excessively i.e. mumps not hamster face. My exercises are going ok, and on a good day I can get to 1.5cm wide with the Therabite. That means I can now put small, soft pieces of food (which don't need chewing) into my mouth such as beans or mash. So glad to be off of the mush. I wouldn't say eating is enjoyable yet as it is still a struggle and painful as well as surprisingly tiring, however at least I can now experience individual tastes as opposed to everything being mushed together;>

Due to the use of the Therabite, I've had to increase my painkiller use which is frustrating. The Gabapentin seems to be working well but makes me incredibly sleepy. I have to make sure I've done any jobs which include driving such as popping to the shops, post office, taking my kids to friends, done before I have my first pill. After that, I'm reliant on people driving for me which is a blow to my independence. On the plus side, at least I am able to get out and about even if it is tiring. I guess that's what's hit me most. The tiredness. I'm used to the tiredness of constant pain as I have had this since the accident in 2018 which started the whole jaw business off again. Yet this is different. More intense and I'm struggling to find my `va va voom'. It's so unlike me to just sit, exhausted. But it's about all I can do. However, I am determined to improve so set myself little tasks such as edging my lawn or doing the housework, so that I can have achieved something each day. I guess I'm feeling rather sorry for myself. I knew it'd take ages to get over this but I thought it would be different... I just don't know how.

With regards talking, I find myself doing what I have done all along: metaphorically gritting my teeth, plastering on a smile (one side only) and pretending I'm fine. I can do this for about 10 minutes then need to make an excuse to disappear and collapse in a corner in pain and fatigue.

Sorry this post has been a bit of a downer. Hopefully better news next week.