2 years post TMJ operation (prosthetic jaw implanted)

I am a look on the bright side of life type of person. Honestly I am. In 2015, they thought I had stomach or bowel cancer. I didn't. Sadly the various intrusive exploratory methods caused arthritis in my jaw but, I didn't have cancer!

Then, in 2021, despite the ongoing covid pandemic, I managed to get my jaw implant done. This was doubly amazing as the surgeon I was supposed to have been under went on long term sick, yet another, highly skilled surgeon took over and performed the operation. This was my third jaw operation by the way.

His stitches were tiny and neat, and although I'd had some pretty disgusting & intrusive drips in my face, and once out, I wasn't allowed to be physically collected from the ward and had to walk down in a daze to find my ride I was nonetheless out in 48 hours.

Another big plus was that for 2 months leading up to the surgery I had been in agony due to my arthritis in my neck/spine flaring up terribly. This meant that not only could I not use my left arm and had limited neck movement for that period, the post op pain was very similar to the intensity of pain I had been living with, and having to go to work through, for the previous 2 months. Yay for my super high pain threshold eh?!

So, having left the wraparound club as the employers simply didn't pay me for 3 months (something I was obviously rather upset by to put it mildly), I found a new job. I had contacted a local nursery about becoming the Preschool teacher, yet when my contract arrived, it turned out I was to be the teacher, Designated safeguarding lead, SENDCo and MANAGER! A bit daunting but the team were amazing and I am determined to always do my very best so thankfully things went well. I was doing up to 14 hour days (10 talking then paperwork) in order to get through OFSTED and constantly had my work bag in my car along with my uniform in case they arrived while I was out. Strangely enough this didn't have a great affect on my nerves and hence bruxism. Thinking positively though, the team and I got flying colours from OFSTED and it was all worth it.

How does this link to me being 2 years post op? Ah, well. As far as my work are concerned, I officially work part time (i.e. 3.5 days in nursery & the rest working from home) due to my having a needy dog. I am their boss. A person they look to for support, guidance and strength. How can I tell them that I do that as 3.5 days is torture enough and I couldn't - despite my high pain threshold - cope with more pain than that? I spend 3.5 days constantly talking then 3.5 days in agony & silence. The nursery & team are worth it though but... I wake up at least once a week with a pillow covered in blood from my jaw. At times the pain can be overwhelming. I am so tired due to the pain as well as the fact that it impacts my sleep.

I called the pain consultant to see if I was close to an appointment, but was told that after being on their list for 35 weeks, I was still not at the top. My next jaw appointment is in October and I HURT!