6 weeks post op

I haven't written any updates recently because I was hoping to wait until I was feeling more positive... I've given up waiting now.

Pros:

Everyone tells me how well my wound seems to be healing

Overall I am maintaining a 1.5cm mouth opening by using my Therabite.

I can now toucher my left ear gently (without too much pain)

Cons

For a week part of the wound was leaking a mix of blood and transparent liquid. I went to the Docs but he said it was nothing sinister and just to get someone to keep an eye on it. If the swelling increased (it is still mildly hamster ish) or the wound began to open I would need to contact the QE immediately. Thankfully thongs settled down.

I'm still regularly getting very painful days (7-8 out of 10 on pain scale) but thankfully I also get less painful times (6/10) however these tend to be interspersed with stabs of pain or simply a few hours at a time.

It's funny though as now the wound is less obvious (my hair is about 1cm long around it) people are expecting me to be able to talk and act as if nothing is wrong. I admit it's my fault too as I constantly put a brave face on and grit my teeth (metaphorically) and act normal through the increasing levels of pain) but... I definitely think having a hip or knee replacement must be easier to recover from as it's so visible to others due to crutches so they account for that in their interactions with you.

Did I mention that as my consultant has signed me as fit to work (despite pain & requirement to do physio 7 times a day) I tried to work last week? I did 3 hours in a Nursery (I'm a Teacher). The first hour was manageable and even enjoyable as I'd taken my full pain killers, but after that it was just agony with the increasing levels of fugue taking over due to the pain. I haven't tried to work since then as, working with children, I need to be able to function at the very least at a certain level and I'm definitely not there yet.

I'm also having to job hunt. It's incredibly hard to find a job that is very short hours and involves minimal speech. Basically my current options are packer or warehouse operative but neither of those would pay the mortgage or take into account my fatigue and neuritis/neck problems which affects the use of my left arm. On the plus side I had my MRI (soooooo painful as it felt like my swollen jaw was being pressed whilst also having the prosthesis very slightly pulled!) so hopefully the physio will be able to put something more permanent in place for me. Another factor with job hunting is that ever since the head injury I'm waiting for something bad to happen after this operation. Last time I felt euphoria, this time dread.

My battery is low so I must go (ha ha, poet) but I'm sure you've got the gist of life right now. Hopefully more positive next time.